Why love and connection matter to your nervous system
What I’m touching into today is the concept of meaningful social connection and its role in well-being and healing.
This is one of the primary reasons I hold retreats and facilitate group programs.
I’ve found that people are hungry for meaningful connection, for being in community in ways beyond social media, and for exploring healing in ways that become more expansive in community.
Much of the time I speak of self-regulation, self-care, self-nourishment and self-awareness.
All of this is to help you create your own wellness, health and vitality first, to tap your own body and nervous system wisdom, and then, from your full(er) cup, to be able to focus outside of yourself and show up well in the world, in your work, with your family and loved ones, etc.
These are essential pieces of self-care, wellness and healing.
We need the "meaningful" part of connection
Today, though, I want to focus on the part of ourselves that extends beyond us – meaningful connection with other humans.
Research shows us that meaningful connection with other humans (and our natural environment) is essential for our health and well-being.
And yet, while we may appear to be connected through (perhaps even glued to) our devices – in most cases, the meaningful part of connection has gotten lost in the world of social media and quick snapshots of our lives.
Foundational part of the nervous system
You’re likely familiar with your fight or flight – or even freeze – component of your nervous system, because you may hear about it often these days.
Another foundational component of that nervous system is the social engagement, or love and connection, part. This part is essential - because we are not wired to be in the survival energies of fight, flight or freeze all the time.
And because we aren’t intended to walk this journey of life alone.
Engagement with other humans builds capacity to SERVE and BE
Having our social engagement – love and connection – part of our nervous system on board is essential to having a healthy nervous system… and when well nourished, can translate into improved physical and mental health.
Meaningful connection with others is calming and regulating to the nervous system. And without it, we can struggle with physical and mental health. (You’ve likely experienced some level of isolation in recent years, so this may feel familiar to you…)
Being able to locate ourselves in relationship to our environment (environment including other humans) is key in building nervous system capacity.
And key to building our capacity to SERVE and BE in the world.
We are wired to be in connection with others.
Let's Practice! Here are some ways...
So I want to encourage you to get out in the world this week and focus on making meaningful connection.
- Call someone you care about and haven’t spoken with in a long time, and have a REAL conversation.
- Make a friend date to go for a walk.
- Take a screen break, turn off devices, and connect in person with a family member in a way that you haven’t in some time, making eye contact.
And here are some ideas about how to make it meaningful – basic ideas, but I know we sometimes need the reminders, especially in these days.
- Practice sharing something a little more than just the logistics of life.
- Have an honest conversation about what’s on your heart.
- Ask deeper questions.
- Get creative together about what you’re visioning for your life.
- Invite open dialogue about something that matters to your heart (not something that gets you into fight or flight, please).
- Plan a getaway with or a visit to someone dear with whom you’ve not spent enough time.
I hear over and over again from clients and people in my programs and retreats how powerful, healing and regulating it is to let down the guard and open up.
And to realize as they do so that they aren’t alone.
How will you create connection?
I'd love to hear from you.
As I sign off, I wish you a beautiful rest of your week, and meaningful connection that is regulating to your nervous system and calming to your heart.
And remember, when you do this, the hearts and nervous systems of those around you are also regulated and calmed.
Because when you step into radical self-care, and support your nervous system, body and heart, it helps you care, serve, teach, partner, parent and love better, in ways that truly ripple out.
The world needs you well.
With love and blessings,
Kelly