honoring the grief and loss of 2020

Can you honor all of what has been - all of the losses, all of the learnings, and all you've done and been this year?

Here we are in early December. In the northern hemisphere, the temperatures are dropping. The leaves have fallen. The ground is cold.

This winter cycle in nature begs us to turn into quiet, to slow down, to listen inward. It’s a time of magic, of darkness, of myths, of stories told by the fire.

And yet, often these times are busy and bustly, filled with activity, somewhat stressful as people prepare for the holidays, and then delight-filled with the lights, decorations, holidays and festivities…

But then here we are in 2020… most of us are doing this time, or these holidays – whatever we celebrate – a bit differently.

I have heard from so many the sadness and frustration about not being able to be with loved ones, or having to negotiate new “rules” for being together, or the fear of taking measured risks to have some connected time.

I’ve also heard so many speak (and sometimes whisper) about the grief of the losses we’ve experienced and witnessed, as we come to the close of this year of such dramatic change and upheaval.

Sometimes when there are such dramatic losses around us, it can feel selfish and indulgent to acknowledge the smaller losses.

And yet, in healing and transformation work, as we move through these big transitions like this we are moving through right now, it's important for our healing, growth and integration to acknowledge what has been, what we've lost, what we are grieving and are letting go of, and what we've learned and are taking with us.

It's also important to celebrate what we've created, and how much strength, creativity and resilience each of us has brought forth.

When we ignore them, or grit our teeth and just keep going, the experiences (the hard and even the beautiful ones) get shoved down and tucked away, only to arise at a later, often inconvenient, time.


So first, I want to acknowledge you, and honor you for whatever you’ve experienced this year, whatever losses there have been – from the really big life changers to the “how do I homeschool and work?!?” to the small inconveniences.

I also want to acknowledge, wherever you’re at and whatever adjustments you’ve had (and chosen) to make, your ability to pivot and to keep on, your adaptive abilities, your courage, and all you’ve done to continue not only showing up every day, but serving and taking care of others, in the midst of a constantly changing landscape.

In the midst of a hard year with unending surprises and difficulties, solitude and upheaval, disappointment and losses of all kinds, you’ve stayed the course. You’ve shown up – for family and friends, for colleagues, for clients, for patients, for those you serve. It’s not been easy.

And then I want to acknowledge the beauty and inspiration you may have witnessed or been part of, such as the heroic efforts of front line medical professionals, or those stepping in to ensure the hungry are a little less so, or people coming together, waking up, and having real conversations around racial justice.

I also want to acknowledge the unexpected "gifts" and what you may be celebrating – like creating space for your morning yoga or family game night, or purging stuff you don’t need, or not having a commute, or having precious reconnections with people you’ve not been in touch with for years.

AN HONORING PRACTICE I INVITE YOU TO DO:

I invite you to take a few moments to do this for yourself – if you’d like, here are a few ideas to guide you…

• Set aside 15-30 minutes for yourself (or more if you can) – where you have quiet, uninterrupted space. Make it clear to the kids or partner or roommate that you’re unavailable.

• Close your eyes.

• Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth multiple times. It might help to sigh on the exhale.

• Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.

• Ask yourself these questions (or something along these lines):

  • What have I created and done this year that I’m proud of and want to honor and celebrate?

  • What have I lost that I’m grieving?

  • What have I learned that I want to incorporate into my life?

  • What unexpected gifts have shown up this year for me? (and how do I keep appreciating those gifts?)

• What can I do to honor myself and all that I’ve done and been, lost and gained, in 2020?

• You might want to write this in your journal and take some extra time to do this.

• Take some more big breaths, open your eyes, and take this honoring into your day.

A MINI RETREAT TO GO DEEPER
WITH GUIDANCE AND IN COMMUNITY:

If you’d like some support with this process and want to experience what it is to do this honoring work in community, I’m offering a mini virtual retreat Honoring 2020 – the Learnings, the Losses, the Grief on December 20 from 10-12 MST (see what that is in your time zone here).

I'm offering this space for us to take a pause, and a big, deep collective breath. In a safe space of community, we'll take a look at what we are grieving, acknowledge what we need to release so we can see our way forward, and honor how much we've done (and been) to get to where we are today.

We’ll deepen into this process, allow for the powerful awareness that arises when we are witnessed, and open to the healing that can occur when we do this work in community.

Here’s something one of our participants said about our last retreat…
“I’ve never felt more connected to a group of people on a screen than with Kelly’s virtual community healing retreat. Everyone showed up to nourish themselves while also offering support to others through smiles and kind words. I enjoyed everything from setting up my special space, to making time for me, to letting Kelly work her guided meditation magic, to releasing the stress of worrying about things I cannot control. I highly recommend engaging with this work!”

If you feel called, I hope you'll join us. Check out the details and what others have to say here.

And feel free to share with a friend if you have someone you'd like to join you!

And either way, I’m sending you blessings and wishes for ease, joy and wellness.

With love,
Kelly

p.s. If you’d like some support in going deeper, here are some ways:

1. Our Mini virtual retreat Honoring 2020 – the Learnings, the Losses, the Grief - December 20, 10-12 MST (Learn more here)

2. Full day virtual retreat in late January. This will be a beautiful day of diving into self-care, restoration and connection in community, while deepening into our learnings from 2020, releasing what needs to be released, and to use all we’ve learned and gathered to vision and create a better forward - for each and all - for 2021. Can you do me a 30 second favor? if you’re at all interested, please go answer two questions here - knowing your preferences will help me announce the date soon. (And I promise, we will not be on Zoom the entire day!)

3. Private coaching and healing work – reach out here, complete this form and we’ll schedule a time to talk and explore this possibility.

Blessings!